The sky was grey and my eyes couldn't find colors to brighten my mood. I had stayed up all day, watching the horizon switch settings; hoping for a miracle. I don’t use my dairy anymore, I don’t have that time. I don’t read anymore, I don’t even sing anymore, I’m losing my touch. I reached that age, the age of uncertainty, doubt and want. God had better save me from this turmoil, but I’m scared to ask his help. Too many sins paint my window shield I don’t think he’s going to see me calling on him any ways. I heard a lot of things today; my teacher telling me how good a singer I would become, students chatting about my weird style and boys whispering about how good I would be in bed…if only they could see how I looked in a lingerie suit. Sometimes I wonder if it’s me or the people around me going crazy, but someone told me it was definitely me so I guess maybe? “You’re a wonderful woman” a guy once told me… not long ago, did he ever mean it? So I’m still sitting here wondering why my miracle hasn’t happened why Jesus hasn’t sent me an angel, did I ask him? I definitely didn’t, Jesus I want an angel!! Watch how he walks in all in white just like in the movies standing right here in front of me waiting for me to ask ‘hey, what your name…?” sure why not, it’s 10pm I better start doing my homework.
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